How to Show Up on Social When Life is Lifing

Megan Yelaney (00:02.049)

Welcome back to Business Not as Usual. I am actually recording this before I planned to on a whim. I was literally doing other work. It’s Sunday. It’s Sunday. I’m gonna just be honest with you. We’re we’re honest here. Let’s go. It’s Sunday, August 30th, as I’m recording this episode. You’re gonna, it’s gonna release a week later, a week in a day. Normally I record my episodes a week before on Mondays, and I was brainstorming series, content series for my page.

And it’s probably also timed with the fact that my dad’s birthday is tomorrow, August 31st. He would have been 77 years old. He died three years ago, three and a half years ago. no, three years ago and like two months. He died May 26th. And it’s probably that combined with the fact that my algorithm is like, okay, I’m s if you don’t have dark humor, you’re gonna hate this, but I have dark humor is the way that we get through things.

I have a lot of like dead dad content on my feed right now, ever since Father’s Day. Cause a couple friends of mine and clients of mine, you who you are, we’ve just send each other, we’ve we’ve all lost our fathers, and we have just sent each other these absolutely hysterical like people who haven’t experienced this will probably be like, You guys are fucked up. This is dark. But it’s so funny because like you have to laugh. Anywho, so my feed is filled, filled, filled with like

that some business stuff and a lot of twin mom stuff, right? That’s like my feed right now. So it could be a combo of that. But when I was sitting down to brainstorm and I was kind of thinking like what are some questions that I get asked about? What are the episodes lately that people have been commenting on when I’ve been guesting? And the topic of showing up when you are grieving or just sad is big. And the grieving doesn’t have to be lost apparent, like

One of the biggest things you could ever go through. It could be like an episode that I’m gonna link in the show notes. I’ve gotten so much feedback on. I was a guest on my friend Ash’s podcast, Shamelessly Ambitious. And the episode was about grief of a declining business. And I shared more openly than I’ve ever shared in any interview. I’ve definitely shared openly here in that way, but I haven’t shared that openly in an interview, I don’t think ever. And I talked about

Megan Yelaney (02:27.456)

my business hitting the lowest it’s ever been since starting in after I had my kids and feeling like a failure, feeling like a fraud, and feeling really like, who am I if my business isn’t making what it used to, and all of these things and how it was really hard to get back into it and feel like I could help other people when I was struggling and all those things. It was the most honest I’ve ever been, honestly, in an interview. And so I’m going to by the way, take a shot every time I say honest, you’re gonna be a little tipsy.

Take a shot of something healthy. Don’t take a shot of alcohol. But I’m gonna link that in the show notes so that you can go listen to that because I have had so many messages about this. And I don’t usually get that from other interviews I’ve been on. I’ll get messages about my own podcast, but I’m like, wow, people are really, really resonating with this. And it’s just showing me how many people are secretly behind the scenes really struggling or have struggled and have felt this fraudness and have helped felt this like, gosh, I don’t.

I feel like people think I’m more successful than I am. And I feel like I’m putting on this front help. And how do I show up? And how do I am I inauthentic? And all that stuff. So it’s a really great episode. But as I was like going, because a a a great tip for creating a series, a content series, is really look at what people are asking you about. What are people asking you about? What are comments on your posts? What are questions your clients are asking you? What are questions in your DMs? Those can be really great content series. And when I say content or video series, it’s something that

you do a like a five part, 10 part series on you are taking them from start to finish. I’ve had a lot of clients who are health coaches, for example, do series on to come with me on my eight-week cut as they’re they’re lose they’re cutting for the summer or whatever it is, they’re losing weight. And and come with me on my bulk, as they’re gaining muscle, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so they it’s great because you can literally show your own process while you’re doing it. It’s pretty cool. And so, you know, I’ve done

My own series, and I started my 100k cash month series early this year, but that one felt there’s not an the end is is so far away because the way I’m building it is very intentional and slow and steady, and it’s gonna take a while to get back there. Even though we’ve had some really close months this year, it’s gonna take a long time. And so it feels like a series that I can’t really like lock into, honestly, because the second I started sharing that, I was like.

Megan Yelaney (04:53.762)

When I started to talk to my clients about it and teach content series, because I’ve been teaching content series for a while and I’ve had a ton of clients pop off of content series. I’m always like, Don’t do that. Don’t do what I did. Try not to have such an open-ended. And when I think back to like, I promise this isn’t just gonna be about content series, but this is where we’re at. I I just had this urge to press record. I was like, I have to. This is not what I originally planned to talk about this week. My SEO girl’s gonna be like, Megan, this was not what we planned, but she’s gonna be totally in support of it.

But when I think of the series that I did for my other account, my Megda Twin Motherhood, back in the day when I was pregnant, it’s like the the what popped off the most was my countdown to literally having my twins. And because a content series does well when people want to see what happens next. They want to see the end goal. They’re like, I have to see what’s happening. And I’ve just been seeing this stuff pop up in my feed and I’m like so intrigued. These strangers who are like

Come with as I get into the best shape of my life. I’m like, I don’t even know who you are, but I want to see what that looks like. So I’m gonna follow. And I’m like, what? You don’t need to follow this person. Why are you feeling so compelled to follow this random stranger? It’s genius. It makes so much sense. And when I really think back to it, I’m like, that’s why three years ago, my account blew up on that account, Megda Twin Motherhood. Because people were like, I have to see how big she gets. Number one. I have to see how far she makes it.

Because I took them along the journey after I was 26 weeks pregnant and went to the hospital with a shortened cervix and was told you could deliver your twins this week at 26 weeks. Terrified. Ended up going to 39 weeks and a day. So it was like such a journey for people to follow and see when is she gonna deliver? When is she gonna pop? How big is she gonna get? She’s already so huge. How is she possibly gonna get bigger? Like that in itself. And then of course them actually coming and seeing the birth and all of that. And so that I know that’s why. And like obviously.

I can’t replicate that. I’m not getting pregnant with twins anytime soon or ever again. I mean, that’s not in the plan. It’s not in the plan, at least, but our life doesn’t go to as to planned as I know. So, you know, I wouldn’t honestly be surprised at this point if I did end up having twins, twin boys again, but I digress. So a series when you can really do that, it’s so there there’s just an exciting thing about that, right? It’s like what happens next. But sometimes you wanna just share something that you’ve been through.

Megan Yelaney (07:14.124)

And you’re like, there’s not necessarily an end goal that they can see, but I want to have an end point. So I’m gonna not fabricate, but I’m going to set it up. I’m gonna write it out that way. And so again, because it’s my dad’s birthday tomorrow, because I’ve just been thinking a lot, and because when I was like, hmm, what are questions I get a lot? A huge topic over the last three years that I have been getting, honestly, more than that, it’s since 2020, since my husband and I had our separation.

And then shared about it, and you know, how we rebuilt our business or built our marriage with our businesses being, you know, at such the forefront too. One of the biggest things I get asked is how do you show up on social media when you’re when you’re really sad? I mean, I’m gonna just that’s it. When you’re really sad, when you’re going through such a hard time in life, and part of your job is to

Film face-to-camera videos, yapping videos, and go on calls with clients and create content that’s educating about here are the best hooks, or here is the the macro split I recommend. And then your life is you’re you’re about to get divorced, your dad died, you had a miscarriage, your father-in-law died. Literally all these things happened to me. Didn’t end up getting divorced. But like all of this stuff.

happened, right? All of this stuff. How do you then go? Here’s the here’s the the con the content split that’s working for my clients, which is a post I have coming out this week. Like how do you how do you reconcile those two things, right? And so that is something that I’m constantly getting asked and doing doing podcast interviews about and love talking about because I don’t have like a framework for it and I don’t have a perfect sexy answer. It’s a very honest one and there’s so much nuance to it.

And so I’m like, I think I’m gonna create a series, but I’m gonna I I’m still like flushing it out. I literally started, I pulled up my my microphone mid mid-braindump. And I’m like, I have to talk about this. I gotta talk this through with my people because my people will will help me and confirm this. Like, and I started to write, I’m gonna read what I wrote as like the beginning of a video script. I’ll usually read a script, but I think for this one I’m gonna I just wanna flush it out first.

Megan Yelaney (09:38.126)

But I wrote three years ago my dad died right after I found out I was pregnant. Ten days later I found out I was having twins. And while I have shared how much my business has changed since having my sons, I don’t think I’ve been honest about how much it’s changed since my dad died. The that moment was the most significant change for me, even if I didn’t admit it to myself. And this is where the script is done. I didn’t write any more than that. And I started recording because I had to talk I had to talk it out with you. And I really think.

I haven’t, I think I haven’t processed it as much as I should. I I saw a therapist a little bit, but not not enough. I have incredible relationship coaches and nervous system regulation coaches, and that stuff comes up, of course. But another part of what I was thinking of doing is like, you know, one thing that’s great about video series is it holds you accountable.

And I thought of maybe doing a series of like come with me as I actually process. That sounds so depressing and so heavy though. That’s the thing. I’m like, man, this is heavy. And I want it to be something that’s still really useful for my audience. And I think the whole how do you show up? How do you keep how do you keep recording? How do you keep talking about stuff that seems so insignificant? The content split that’s worth working for my clients that seems so insignificant.

next to my dad died. You know what I mean? Like it just seems like what? How could I talk about that? And I’ve been able to reconcile those two because actually the content split that’s working for my clients makes them more money and makes them successful and makes them want to keep working with me. Which brings me so much joy, brings me money, supports my family, and gives me the money and the time

To grieve to have the space. So actually, when I really think about it, that seemingly surface level post actually has created this incredible space to grieve and have this life. And that’s where entrepreneurship is so, such a gift. Such a gift. I’ve never been more grateful for it than during these moments. And so really it’s not surface level. You know what I mean? Like, and that’s the shit I want to talk about in this series. Like, I want to help.

Megan Yelaney (12:01.944)

People be able to still show up. Because at the truth of it, it’s very easy to say take the time, take your space, give yourself time and space and grace. And I do say that, and I do believe that. And I’ve said that to clients, and I and I do believe that. I think we all need to take our time and our space for grief. And I’m realistic because my income fully supports my family right now. And so while there’s

There’s so much nuance to that. I can’t just be like grieve forever and just go. I I my family needs to eat and we have a a life and a lifestyle we love that we want to keep up. So it’s not, it’s just it’s so unrealistic to tell people that. It’s just, it’s not fair. Just give yourself as much time as you need. Well, y you might need years. And I’m sorry, you probably don’t have the financial ability to have years of not working. It’s just not.

It’s just unrealistic, right? And I I can’t stand that kind of advice. And I feel like I’ve said that before and I hate myself for it because I’m like, that’s just BS. It’s not true. That’s not gonna help calm me down when I’m stressed out about money and now I’m grieving and stressed about money, right? And so this whole idea is I really I I’m basically selfishly recording this whole long episode, and I hope it’s giving you something because I want you to message me and let me know if you think a series around.

Building a business while life is lifing, essentially. I’m gonna call it something better, but like how to sh building a business, how to show up on social and create when you’re sad, when life is really hard, when you feel like what you’re talking about and then what’s actually happening behind the scenes in your life is so opposite. And when I really think about it, like someone who goes to a nine to five job, like

Life is gonna happen. They still have to go to their nine to five job. Obviously, there’s extenuating circumstances. Like if someone dies, they can take time off and they can take leave, or if they’re pregnant and have and have their baby, they have maternity leave. Of course, there’s those those those moments. And so that’s kind of like a barometer I honestly use too, is I’m like, if someone would take if I had a nine to five and I would take time off from my nine to five for this, I will take time off. And so when my dad died, I took a month off. I don’t I’ve never had a traditional nine to five, so I don’t know if I would have taken a month off of that.

Megan Yelaney (14:21.246)

Maybe, not sure, but I took a month and I feel very grateful that I was able to take a month without skipping a beat. Like it was pretty, pretty amazing. Clients were served, my friends stepped in, my team crushed it. It was just like, wow, cool. This was very confirming and very it was just like a really, really good scenario that I had work-wise at that time. It was pretty amazing. But like I don’t know if I would have been able to do that at a nine to five. And so I that’s kind of a barometer I’ll I was.

Ask myself is like, would I have taken this off? Okay, give myself that time. And then maybe a day or two extra because entrepreneurship, we get to do that, right? We get to make those decisions. We get to, we get to have that flexibility, which is amazing. So take advantage of it. And then like get back on the horse. Like we got to figure it out. Also, because my business helped me through a lot of it. Like having a purpose, having

Something to do to get me out of bed, to get me going, to get me like, hey, I have a mission and a purpose. And especially my dad, who loved that I had a business, loved my business, was so supportive, was my accountant for years and was so excited. He was just so excited. Especially when I started making really great money. He’s like, Whoa, what’s happening? This is so cool. He would be so sad. He would be so sad if I didn’t keep going, if I didn’t get up and create.

And he loved Instagram. He he was so funny. He loved like being in my videos. If you’ve been an OG, you’ve been around. He he would show up in my stories constantly. You know, our Tuesday night movie dates, and we would go to dinner in a movie when I was in Vegas, like because I lived there for a long time near him. We had such incredible quality time every single week. I saw him twice a week. And he loved it. He thought it was so fun. I’d be Dad, Instagram wants to say hi. They love you. Say hi. And he would say hi, Instagram, and he would say hi, friends. And it was so cute. And

Like he’d be so sad if I stopped stopped, you know? And so I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy and it’s gonna feel fake. You’re gonna feel like shit’s hard right now. I feel like I’m putting on a face and I think it’s okay. I think it’s okay to be like, all right, we’re gonna talk about the content that is working for my clients right now, even though I’m literally gonna go cry in an hour once I stop talking about this. Once I get off this client call. And I think that’s life.

Megan Yelaney (16:42.252)

Right? It’s life because you’d have to go to a nine to five and you’d have to go sit at your desk or go do whatever you do and you’d have to put on a face and you’d get through it. And there’s probably a lot of people who are gonna disagree with what I’m saying, but part of that is it forces you to keep going with life because the the reason you’re sad, the person maybe that you lost, or whatever you’re grieving, or whatever you’re struggling with, they wouldn’t want you to just

Stay put and be in that sadness. Now, yes, you should really process it and not like make work or whatever it is, override those feelings so you never actually deal with the feelings. I’m not that I’m kind of experiencing that now, but I’m like, man, did I pr did I pro did I do that a little too hard? Did I? I don’t know. We’re we’re gonna work through that. I’m gonna I’m gonna figure that out. But I I just know how grateful I am that I had this outlet. I’m like, man, if I didn’t have.

Something I was super passionate about. And I mean, I was also pregnant, so that was huge. I don’t know. I think it would have been 10 times harder than it was. So that is a series that I am really highly considering running. I would love your feedback. The other few series that I’m considering running is this is a fun one. And again, I would make these all. I’m gonna take off my sweatshirt if you hear some some sounds. I would make these all.

Timed so that it’s not like a never-ending open-ended. Do not do that. I would make it like a five part, and I would say episode one, and this is gonna be a five-part series, and here’s the structure. Like I would plan it out a little bit more. But one is like figuring out if we want kids again. And I’ve kind of I’ve talked about this and we kind of said no, we’re done for now, but we keep saying for now. So are we done? I don’t know.

If you asked me today, I’d say we’re 90% done. Like we’re done. We have a beautiful family. We love our family. We’re so grateful. It took a lot to get here. We’re probably done. But I say probably. So there’s something there. So that was like one. Another is getting my body back to where I really, really, really want it to be like to challenge myself. I wanna just, I don’t know how else to say this. I want to get stronger and tighter.

Megan Yelaney (19:00.8)

I really want to get stronger. I’ve always wanted to be stronger. And I want to actually like get some help with that and have an in-person trainer for a little bit. I’ve never done anything like that. So that’s one that I was like, ooh, that could be fun to like take people on the journey. And then another is like balancing business and motherhood.

In general, I get asked that so often, but this is like I’d have to figure out how to make this a specific series because that’s vague, that’s vague, right? How do you balance business and moth motherhood? It’s not like a come with me as very strict specific series. So I’d have to brainstorm that. If you have any ideas, let me know. But the last one, again, that I’ve been like really mulling over is building a business like while life is lifing, like how to show up on social media when you’re really sad.

I honestly think I should call it that. Like that’s when I really come back to it, that’s actually what people have asked me is like verbatim. How do you actually create content and and act happy when you’re really not? Like when behind the scenes you’re like, man, I feel so fake. But I would ask, I or I would argue, is it fake? Because what you’re saying, the let’s just keep with that same example, the content split that’s working for my clients.

That’s not fake. That’s true. I’m sharing actual things that are working for my people right now. I’m just not sharing it in a sad tone. No, who wants to listen to that? Right? If I was like, okay, here’s the content split that’s working for my clients. Like Eeyore, right? My kids love Winnie the Pooh. Thanks for noticing me. I love saying that to them. They think it’s hysterical. But like if I talked like Eeyore.

Would that be more authentic because I’m sad outside of business in my life? Like, no, you know what I mean? And so I think we have to also like we’re so dramatic, right? Like, I’m so dramatic. So I’m sure everyone else is too. Like, it doesn’t mean you’re lying. You’re just talking about your expertise. Just like if you went, if you’re a teacher and you go to school, you don’t announce to the class, hey, I’m really sad today. so just so you know when I’m teaching. Now, maybe some teachers do in an

Megan Yelaney (21:11.52)

Again, extenuating circumstances different, different, different. But like you go and you do your job and you show up. And I think there’s some it’s good. It’s good that we kind of have to do that. It helped again, it helps us get through things and not stir and fester and like identify as only that. You can be multifaceted. And I think this is the biggest lesson I have learned of the last three and a half years since my dad passed. Is is how to hold two really opposing emotions at once. My dad died.

And then I found out was pregnant with twins 10 days later. Like, literally. I just did the math. I just figured it out. I mean, I’ve done the math, but I was kind of guesstimating, and then I was actually like going through and doing doing the dates. Like, that’s wild. I never cried and never felt more depressed in my life than the day and the days after my dad passed. And then I don’t think I’ve ever felt that excited and

A l and happy seems so lame. It’s not even happy. It’s just like, my gosh, the most I I can’t even there’s not even a good word to describe it. Like that’s it. Like I’m the most blessed person in the world right now. When I found out I was pregnant with twins. Someone actually recently asked us at my my husband’s surprise party. One of our friends said, I’m curious, I’ve always meant to ask you guys this. Like, were you ever like

like really nervous or like not upset obviously but like but maybe I mean it’s totally understandable if you’re upset when you find out you’re having multiples but when you’re like shit that feels overwhelming. Like were you overwhelmed? Were you ever like, God, I don’t know if I can do this. Great question. And we both looked at each other and we said, no, not for a second. The second we found out we looked at each other and we just beamed. We were

I get like chills right now. I like get emotional thinking about that moment. We were, I was in such a dark place in my life because my dad literally just died. And the last sonogram I went to, I found out I was miscarrying, which was a year of prior. So, like to say we were nervous going to this, this appointment was like an understatement. And it was an like not an emergency appointment, but kind of originally was supposed to be in Las Vegas. We were in New York.

Megan Yelaney (23:34.658)

Getting ready for my dad’s memorial. So we had to randomly find a doctor. It was not gonna be my long-term doctor. It all felt very fast, very frazzled. Like I just, I was just so nervous. My heart, I will it was beating out of my chest. Like I literally was like, everyone can hear my heartbeat right now. It’s so loud. I feel like I might pass out from how hard my heart is beating right now. And when when the very nonchalantly, might I add, the person doing the sonogram was just like,

so you’re having twins. Like we already knew. I’m like, lady, this is our first on a gram. We don’t know. What? Are you telling us we’re having twins right now? Is that what’s happening? And I said, You’re kidding. She’s kidding. And I just looked at my husband. And when when it happened, I’ve never felt that much like intense joy and happiness.

When literally a second before, I had never felt that much nervousness. Like I cannot handle another disappointment. My dad just died. If you tell me you do not see a baby on that sonogram, like the last time I had a sonogram, I I don’t know if I can handle that. Like I don’t know what I would do. I literally don’t know how I would cope. And so then to be told not only one but two, we were beyond. We just both started.

crying and were so happy, immediate, not any nerves. It was wild. We had nerves of of course along the way, but like we were just so excited, so freaking excited. And my dad died 10 days before. And then we had to go home and plan the memorial. So it was like, yeah, I just remembered. I forgot that my dad died in that the the that moment. And then I remembered right away because anything that

That’s happy that happens. Once you lose someone like that, you immediately get a little sad. It’s I know this this sounds so depressing, but it’s just the truth. You you just get kind of get used to it. It is what it is. It’s not like sad, like where it stays with you. It’s just like, man, I really wish I could text him this. I really wish I could call him and tell him this cool thing that Kevin just did. Look what Aiden just did. Like Aiden just said this cute thing. I wish I could tell my dad. You know, I get to tell my mom and my aunt, my dad’s sister, and other family, but man, I really, really wish I could text him.

Megan Yelaney (25:51.842)

So there’s always this layer of sadness. There’s always going to be. It’s never gonna not be there. And that’s the biggest skill. I again I’m gonna call it a skill. I’m gonna give myself some credit. That’s the biggest skill I’ve developed over the last three and a half years has been being able to hold two really opposing emotions at one time. Intense sadness and grief. And right at the same time, intense joy and excitement. Literally mourning the loss of the most important person in the world to me.

At the same time creating what will be the most important people in the world to me. It’s wild when you think about it. When I really think about what I went through, I’m like, my God, that’s crazy. And that experience, like being so happy when I was thinking about the boys, and then feeling this immediate sadness and guilt for feeling happy because I should be sad. My dad just died. And then being sad, because my dad died to

feeling guilty for being sad because I am pregnant with twins. I should be so grateful. It’s so, it’s a, it’s a mind F, let me tell you. I like how I curse in the beginning and then I like say F. I’m so weird. But like it’s such a dichotomy and that I think because I experienced that, I was able to apply that like, hey, you both can exist to my business. And so when life is lifing and things are happening, which when does it

not you know we’re all going through stuff it doesn’t have to be that extreme it doesn’t have to be the grief of a losing someone it could be you’re having a really tough time with your partner Mike and I have not had smooth sailing this whole time let me tell you we are in it for life we are good in that sense because we work through our shit but we have our shit to work through and we’ve had we’ve had that we had like a week a couple weeks ago man it was a tough week like we don’t fight normally and it was like argument

argument, tension, tension, resentment, this, that, like the whole week. And I was just like, my God, I don’t want to do anything this week. I’m like so frustrated with him and he’s so frustrated with me. And because like that’s marriage. That’s just like being in a relationship, right? And we work through it and and right now we’re good and we’re gonna probably have those moments again and we’re gonna work through it and it’s gonna be fine. But like in the moment, if I went I’m sad and I’m struggling and I am really frustrated right now with my with my marriage.

Megan Yelaney (28:16.704)

I can’t post content because of that because it’d be inauthentic for me to pretend to be happy to talk about this thing. No, it’s not. Two things can exist at once. Two things can exist at once. And once you start to get that in your bones, you can continue to have a business and you can continue to show up, even when life is lifing. And actually, that helps you get through the hard time and it puts things in perspective. Like that’s the biggest I I’m kind of having a revelation as I’m literally recording this right now. I’m like, man, that is that’s

The key. That’s why I’ve been able to have these moments and be okay and get through it. So that’s my rant today. I just literally was like, I have to record what I’m thinking right now. I cannot keep it in my head. I need to get it out and I need to ask you about the series. So please, please, please. Even if you never ever message me, and you’re an avid listener, I so am grateful for you. But if you can take this second to

Come DM me on Instagram at Magnum Ulani or email me, Maggan at Magnulini, and say, I love that series idea. Or I hate it. Don’t do it. I’m gonna end up doing what I want to do. I’m probably gonna do it. But I just wanna know if you like it and if you have an idea for a name. Because I would like some feedback and I would like your opinion. Who knows? I might already have started it by the time this releases, because I kind of don’t want to overthink it, but I also have a really busy week, so I don’t know if I’m gonna have time to. So I probably will wait.

So let me know. I would be so grateful to you. I hope this helped just in multitude of ways. And there’s lots of cool stuff to check out in the show notes. Go look at the episode that I recorded with Ash. It was absolutely incredible. I have a in really awesome private podcast, main character energy, that I’m getting a lot of feedback from right now. so go opt into that if you’re really wanting to find your edge. We have some fun stuff coming up in a few weeks. I cannot wait. Another free event that’s happening at the end of the month. So those details will be up soon.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being here, for listening, for just being the sounding board. I’m so grateful for this podcast because some of these episodes are just like literally a diary. Instead of writing and journaling, this is my writing and journaling. And I’m like, wow, this is part of my job. It’s freaking cool. It’s really freaking cool. Okay. Love you. Thank you. DM me.